Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

[dirtybenny]

I don't remember Crebain from Dunland! being mentioned in the script.

Of course Kris, the more I watch, the more I believe SP is a piece of Tolkien fan fic. with the premise being if Gollum had got the ring.

"You are a kite dancing in a hurricane,Mr.Bond."
Ah,one of those laughable,pretentious,"deep" lines placed in a film so critics would applaud it. Wouldn't be a Mendes film without them.

You knew it was coming V, fasten your seat belt cuz you know there's more to come!

The whole issue of whether Bond/MI6 are still relevant in the modern world has been done to death by this point, and the incompetence of Bond/MI6 in the Craig era is getting more ridiculous with every film. There's a thread about the subject over at the Absolutely James Bond forum. You can check it out here if you would like. Some very good points are made about how poor the writing has been during this era.

The relevancy of MI6 has been explored in each of Craig's films save CR, it was tiresome the first time and it still is now, read your link Saint and it's interesting to see the worm is beginning to turn for Craig, but of course at least one individual had to defend his era as more realistic!

[Veronica]

I find AJB to be the best out of Bond forums. You can actually express your preference for pre-reboot movies without being bashed by fanboys unlike on that lunatic place called mi6.
As for the whole "is Bond still relevant?" thing,Bond has a timeless appeal because the man has the charisma that just has to be admired. So the whole discussion about it is completely stupid.

[FormerBondFan]

As for the whole "is Bond still relevant?" thing,Bond has a timeless appeal because the man has the charisma that just has to be admired.

Is Bond still relevant? If we're talking about the traditional tall, classic, and dark-haired Bond as we had from Sean to Pierce (or from Barry to Pierce if you include the former and Niven), the answer is a BIG NO, especially when Babs will still be producers for many years to come.

[Veronica]

As for the whole "is Bond still relevant?" thing,Bond has a timeless appeal because the man has the charisma that just has to be admired.

Is Bond still relevant? If we're talking about the traditional tall, classic, and dark-haired Bond as we had from Sean to Pierce (or from Barry to Pierce if you include the former and Niven), the answer is a BIG NO, especially when Babs will still be producers for many years to come.

For me,and I think as well for all of the members on this site,the Bond we all know and love is still very much relevant. and I think in general it's relevant.
Although EON desperately tries to erase 40 years of history I don't think it's that easy. Pretentious critics may applaud this crappy reboot but I don't think general audience went to see these films because they wanted to see "deep","serious" film.
They went to see the movie because it had James Bond in a title. And what made James Bond an icon and a big thing are previous Bond films. In fact,the negative or mixed reviews for SP in Croatia were in majority and few even called it the worst Bond movie.
And one professional critic said how the only good thing about the movie is pre-title sequence. And Monica Bellucci. Of course.

[dirtybenny]

As for the whole "is Bond still relevant?" thing,Bond has a timeless appeal because the man has the charisma that just has to be admired.

Is Bond still relevant? If we're talking about the traditional tall, classic, and dark-haired Bond as we had from Sean to Pierce (or from Barry to Pierce if you include the former and Niven), the answer is a BIG NO, especially when Babs will still be producers for many years to come.

For me,and I think as well for all of the members on this site,the Bond we all know and love is still very much relevant. and I think in general it's relevant.
Although EON desperately tries to erase 40 years of history I don't think it's that easy. Pretentious critics may applaud this crappy reboot but I don't think general audience went to see these films because they wanted to see "deep","serious" film.
They went to see the movie because it had James Bond in a title. And what made James Bond an icon and a big thing are previous Bond films. In fact,the negative or mixed reviews for SP in Croatia were in majority and few even called it the worst Bond movie.
And one professional critic said how the only good thing about the movie is pre-title sequence. And Monica Bellucci. Of course.

Despite the song and dance put on by EON, claiming to be constantly "fighting to keep Bond relevant", he very much is. Anything with Bond attached to it sells, regardless of what it is, or how bad it may be. That's why so many companies are willing to shell out big dollars to pin their name to the francize. Had EON not foisted this ridiculous reboot upon us they would have still made just as much money, people don't go to the cinema to see Bond in deep melodramatic soliloquys, they go simply to see Bond.

As to Babzy ever leaving, despite her aberration for Bond and all he represents she can't let go, as he is the only thing feeding her. She doesn't make any other films, nor can she, for as a film maker she is way over her head, the only reason she's lasted this long is what I stated above.

[Blowfeld]

I do believe there is a point that EON would have made just as much without the melodrama or Daniel. Certain people of a proud island nation will always buy the tickets in bulk. Also the success of the 50th anniversary celebration was not equalled by the follow up, there is a case to be made despite all the hoopla Daniel is a middle earner at best. Casino and Quantum were barely keeping pace with inflation, Skyfall had the tailwinds of the anniversary feeding it, Spectre fell back to earth with the millionaire dollar baby's tantrum and sub-par story line lifted directly from Austin Powers.

[Veronica]

I do believe there is a point that EON would have made just as much without the melodrama or Daniel. Certain people of a proud island nation will always buy the tickets in bulk. Also the success of the 50th anniversary celebration was not equalled by the follow up, there is a case to be made despite all the hoopla Daniel is a middle earner at best. Casino and Quantum were barely keeping pace with inflation, Skyfall had the tailwinds of the anniversary feeding it, Spectre fell back to earth with the millionaire dollar baby's tantrum and sub-par story line lifted directly from Austin Powers.

I don't think Craig is even a factor when it comes to box office. He obviously can't make a cent outside of Bond so there is a fact that he simply isn't a leading man material. Back in 1995 Wilson said how an actor who plays Bond needs to have an ability to draw audience through his own personality rather than supressing it. Did he have an amnesia or something?

[Veronica]

As for the whole "is Bond still relevant?" thing,Bond has a timeless appeal because the man has the charisma that just has to be admired.

Is Bond still relevant? If we're talking about the traditional tall, classic, and dark-haired Bond as we had from Sean to Pierce (or from Barry to Pierce if you include the former and Niven), the answer is a BIG NO, especially when Babs will still be producers for many years to come.

For me,and I think as well for all of the members on this site,the Bond we all know and love is still very much relevant. and I think in general it's relevant.
Although EON desperately tries to erase 40 years of history I don't think it's that easy. Pretentious critics may applaud this crappy reboot but I don't think general audience went to see these films because they wanted to see "deep","serious" film.
They went to see the movie because it had James Bond in a title. And what made James Bond an icon and a big thing are previous Bond films. In fact,the negative or mixed reviews for SP in Croatia were in majority and few even called it the worst Bond movie.
And one professional critic said how the only good thing about the movie is pre-title sequence. And Monica Bellucci. Of course.

Despite the song and dance put on by EON, claiming to be constantly "fighting to keep Bond relevant", he very much is. Anything with Bond attached to it sells, regardless of what it is, or how bad it may be. That's why so many companies are willing to shell out big dollars to pin their name to the francize. Had EON not foisted this ridiculous reboot upon us they would have still made just as much money, people don't go to the cinema to see Bond in deep melodramatic soliloquys, they go simply to see Bond.

As to Babzy ever leaving, despite her aberration for Bond and all he represents she can't let go, as he is the only thing feeding her. She doesn't make any other films, nor can she, for as a film maker she is way over her head, the only reason she's lasted this long is what I stated above.

Barbara doesn't have half of her father's film making talent. That's why nowdays she panders to pretentious critics with the "deep","serious" bulls**t. I think it's harder to make a good Bond film than a film that will kiss ass to critics.
She wasn't really confident how to do it back when Brosnan was Bond because shifts in tone with his films are apparent. So she simply went with "let's con pretentious critics they are watching something really serious and deep while we just copy anything from other popular movies,insert pieces of quasi drama and sell the d**n thing as an arty piece".

[dirtybenny]

Special Feature Rant: The Spectre Introspection: part 9: “On Her Majesties Suffocative Service”

We find Craig winging his way to Piz Gloria, err I mean the Hoffler clinic. Now begins the O.H.M.S.S. rip-off in earnest. Craig still sporting the ridiculous knit cap and tight snow suit trods up to the front doors of the clinic with a large overnight bag. He makes his way in to the office of Dr. Madeline Swann. To be brutally honest (I know me brutally honest, hard to imagine right!) this whole scene is incredibly boring! If you don’t mind I’ll just briefly muddle through it. First imagine the “word association” scene in SF but with an attractive woman playing the part of the psychologist, now also imagine a lot more paperwork involved.

She asks Craig if he consumes alcohol and he replies “Too much”. Again EON has been pushing this Bond as alcoholic narrative. The literary Bond’s alcoholism is pretty established, but I really don’t see the cinematic Bond as having a problem, he takes a drink or two sure, but is consuming 3-4 drinks during the course of a film alcoholism? Remember a film takes place over a period of days or weeks they aren’t in real time.

She continues asking personal questions, we go into his parent’s death, orphan, blah, blah, blah, wha, wha, wha, then he starts asking her questions. Craig spills the beans that he “kills people” (see my sidebar in the last rant) she automatically assumes her father is dead and he sent Craig, I thought she was a psychologist not a psychic! She asks if Craig killed him and Craig tells her White did it himself. Take note that Craig told her exactly what happened and exactly how it happened, its important later in the film when they go to Blofeld’s lair and he shows them the tape Hinx took earlier.

Craig tells her she’s in danger, he’s there to protect her and he needs to find L’American, she of course responds by throwing him out. Craig sulks at the juice bar where he tries to drown his sorrows with a martini, but is informed that there is no alcohol at the clinic, wah-wah.

Q inexplicably turns up and orders Craig a “digestive enzyme shake”. They go back and forth about the car being “parked at the bottom of the Tiber”. Q then states that Frans Oberhauser is “dead and buried” and Craig needs to come back with him now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, how the bloody hell does Q know about Oberhauser? Even if MP told him, he knows way more detail than even she had!

Craig gives Q Gollum’s ring and asks him to find out what he can about it. The bartender returns with the digestive shake and Craig tells him to pour it directly down the toilet, HA! Craig is being led out by the crack sweater clad security team when he notices Swann getting led away by Mr. Hinx, dun, dun, duuuuun. Guess those security officers were too busy politely asking Craig to leave to notice a staff member getting accosted. Craig punches a guard and tells the other to “SStAAAy”, then runs off to save the day.

Craig has time to put on his kick ass shades as he makes his way outside where a henchman appears out of nowhere and Craig handily dispatches him. Craig sees them drive off in their Range Rover™, and we cut to Q getting on a cable car (OHMSS anyone?) with a rather salty, surly looking gent. Q and the surly gent eyeball each other while Q analyzes the DNA on the ring, which he just so happens to have an analyzer for!

Cut back to Hinx and crew who are now in convoy with two other Land Rovers™. When they come out of a tunnel and suddenly… An airplane soars overhead! Swann grabs the hypodermic needle clumsy goon #348 was going to use to knock her out and jams it in to his chest, nighty night clumsy goon. Hinx responds by pointing his ridiculous double pistol at Swann who now placidly leans back in her chair. The plane pulls up alongside the convoy, it’s Craig! Apparently he pulled an aircraft out of his rear and hopped inside, then knew where to find them. Obviously Craig stole it from the little airport down the hill from the clinic, my thought is why didn’t we see that instead of Q getting on a ski lift? It’s like they’re showing us the boring bits on purpose, so they can include “The Team”. This is an ongoing theme throughout this film as we’ll see.

Craig who is now handling a Walther P99™, starts to indiscriminately fire at the SUV, I guess he just wants to get Swann back; it doesn’t matter if she’s dead or alive. Hinx fires back with his clown pistol which despite being constructed by simply gluing two colt 1911 .45 caliber pistols together, has the firepower of a mini howitzer punching fist sized holes in Craig’s aircraft. Craig turns tail and we cut back to Q.

Q’s laptop shows the DNA belonging to the last three villains and little Oberhauser is still all over that ring, despite the fact Craig has been passing it around to everyone he meets, not to mention he himself has been wearing the bloody thing since he found it. Q closes the laptop and prepares to disembark, when another surly character sporting a goatee and dressed in full stereotypical Gestapo regalia meets him at the door, he and salty dude #1 smirk at Q when suddenly a group of teens come pushing on to the car, curses foiled again! WTF is going on here? The first stooge is twice the size of Q, he didn’t need Heir Goatee who is comically half the size of Q to help him over power their intended victim and accomplish whatever their intended task is supposed to be. Not to mention Stooge #1 had Q all to himself, no witnesses, if they intend to kill Q, he could have broken his neck with ease and tossed him out the window of the cable car leaving the evidence to lay undiscovered at least until the next thaw. Q takes a seat and the two surly brothers sit opposite Q, while the teens giggle and cackle between them.

Back to the alpine chase and the convoy turns of the main road, to a clearing just large enough for Craig’s plane to play chicken with the line of trucks. Of course this ridiculous gambit meets with success, sending one of the trucks careening in to a fuel shed which appears out of nowhere! Apparently the blast can be heard at the ski lift because everyone looks up in shock! It just so happens this occurs just as the cable car reaches the platform; Q uses the distraction to leap from the car and in to the crowd. Surly #1 and #2 give chase but are just slow enough to miss the fact Q ducks in to a side door. And that’s it for Q’s little adventure, what was the point? It didn’t add any suspense to, nor further the story, and in fact all it did was distract from the plane/truck action scene, absolutely worthless.

Back to the two remaining trucks now driving back down the perfectly sized clearing Craig played chicken in a moment ago, this time Craig comes up from behind, when suddenly the trees narrow and clip his wings, literally. Of course rather than coming to a fiery end, Craig sets the craft down on its belly and is now driving a large air ski. Craig using his throttles and tail fin narrowly misses a stand of trees while screaming “Come on!” Funny once again, Craig and I find ourselves in agreement, as I was screaming the exact same thing while watching it. As Craig turns a corner the tail falls off and he’s heading headlong in to a barn. So naturally he guns the engine and smashes through it! He lands on the other side none the worse for wear except his engines have now stopped running, no matter as he immediately and expertly crashes in to the lead truck which fortunately was not the one carrying Swann. The one that is, crashes lightly in to the one he hit, sending Hinx through the window in a comical fashion. Craig pops out of his craft just as spry as an imp and rushes to the wrecked vehicle. He shoots dead the incapacitated driver, glances at Hinx without giving him a second thought and removes the remarkably unscathed Swann from the rear; see kids always wear your seat belt! (Despite the fact she wasn’t wearing hers)

She shows her appreciation my pushing Craig away and telling him to “Get away from me!” To be fair she probably though he was a yeti. She continues telling him off, “Did it cross your mind that you lead them to me!” You forget darling he did say he promised to keep you safe but he also wanted information about that oh so mysterious L’American, he couldn’t get that if he just left you alone. Craig’s response is to stare at her slack jawed and reply “I don’t have time for this you have to tell me all you know about L’ American!” She replies “Go to Hell!” I reply “I’m already there!” and they go on about trust and her daddy issues, and that’s it.

Cut to Q’s hotel room where Craig and Swann are just arriving, I guess she decided she could trust him after all. (Lord knows why as they never establish that) Q explains what he’s found, that all the previous baddies in the Craig era are connected by the one ring. He has even gone so far as to concoct an organizational chart with Hansy at the top. Now all Q should have proved is these guys have touched that ring at some point, how do you know who out ranks whom? By how tightly they gripped it? Q and Craig scratch their heads about what this sinister cabal could be called when Swann chimes in “SPECTRE”. So that’s why they named the film that! Q flips on CNN (Literally, I think they must have a partnership or something) and we see South Africa ablaze from a terrorist attack! Q says Craig must find L’American, Craig agrees because he’s their only hope. Swann says “it’s not a person”, WHAAAAT?

[Veronica]

SP has many flaws but the unforgivable one is that Blofeld/brother plot. It's so vomiting I can't even find words to describe it. How anyone even got to that idea is beyond me. How can they have so little respect for Fleming fiction even though they constantly go about how Craig is a spitting image of Fleming's Bond?! And on top of that,it's like all critics suffered from a stroke or something because none of them pointed to this disgrace. And none of them remarked how this plot is right from Austin Powers.
You can describe this as both tragedy and comedy.

[Kristatos]

I'm pretty sure that most reviews slated Brofeld, and more than a few mentioned the Austin Powers similarities. I haven't done a scientific survey, but this one seems to have received pretty lacklustre reviews compared to the other Craig films. As I recall, it only just managed a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Veronica]

I'm pretty sure that most reviews slated Brofeld, and more than a few mentioned the Austin Powers similarities. I haven't done a scientific survey, but this one seems to have received pretty lacklustre reviews compared to the other Craig films. As I recall, it only just managed a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

I've been reading reviews of general audience and while they generally weren't thrilled only few of them mentioned the Blofeld/brother angle.

Come to think of it,it's completely hilarious. They are making "serious","realistic" movie put picked up a plot from Austin Powers.

[dirtybenny]

SP has many flaws but the unforgivable one is that Blofeld/brother plot. It's so vomiting I can't even find words to describe it. How anyone even got to that idea is beyond me. How can they have so little respect for Fleming fiction even though they constantly go about how Craig is a spitting image of Fleming's Bond?! And on top of that,it's like all critics suffered from a stroke or something because none of them pointed to this disgrace. And none of them remarked how this plot is right from Austin Powers.
You can describe this as both tragedy and comedy.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves Big V, we'll reach that chapter in a couple of weeks!

[carl stromberg]

What do you think about this post DB.

http://www.mi6community.com/index.php?p ... fore-craig

[dirtybenny]

All I can say is WOW! Where do they find these people! These are "Bond Fans" (see my rant of the same name) of the first order! They are precisely who EON is aiming the Craig films at, just shout "FLEMING'S BOND" loud enough and people will just nod along.

The OP is bad enough, but near the bottom of the page a chap says this:

"Connery has tremendous screen presence, great in the part but i found him a little too cold and unemotional to be Flemings Bond, Lazenby tried to ape Connery too much, but his was a brave effort, Moore played the role exactly how it should have been played at that time, but stayed in the part too long, Dalton nailed it, Brosnan was a disaster, miscast even, and Craig brought back gravitas to the role."

Connery too cold and unemotional! Compared to Craig!!!!!! Craig's stiff, wooden, and sleepy delivery is more "emotional" than Connery?!?! I guess depressed is an emotion so in that respect he is far and away more "emotional"! Brosnan a disaster and Craig brings back "gravitas"? How?!?! The way he mopes around like a depressed basset hound? What a joke!!!!!! I'd laugh if it wasn't so sickening.

[Veronica]

What do you think about this post DB.

http://www.mi6community.com/index.php?p ... fore-craig

This is so hilarious.

[Veronica]

Brosnan miscast? the definition of miscast is when one is unsuitable to some role. one doesn't have to be a fan of his but saying a tall,dark-haired,handsome charismatic man was unsuitable to play tall,dark haired handsome charismatic James Bond...
Craig brought gravitas to the role?
I find it laughable but I agree,Benny,it's sickening that people who call themselves Bond fans have such a wrong picture of Bond in their heads.

[dirtybenny]

Brosnan miscast?

I thought that'd get you fired up V!

[FormerBondFan]

All I can say is WOW! Where do they find these people! These are "Bond Fans" (see my rant of the same name) of the first order! They are precisely who EON is aiming the Craig films at, just shout "FLEMING'S BOND" loud enough and people will just nod along.

The OP is bad enough, but near the bottom of the page a chap says this:

"Connery has tremendous screen presence, great in the part but i found him a little too cold and unemotional to be Flemings Bond, Lazenby tried to ape Connery too much, but his was a brave effort, Moore played the role exactly how it should have been played at that time, but stayed in the part too long, Dalton nailed it, Brosnan was a disaster, miscast even, and Craig brought back gravitas to the role."

Connery too cold and unemotional! Compared to Craig!!!!!! Craig's stiff, wooden, and sleepy delivery is more "emotional" than Connery?!?! I guess depressed is an emotion so in that respect he is far and away more "emotional"! Brosnan a disaster and Craig brings back "gravitas"? How?!?! The way he mopes around like a depressed basset hound? What a joke!!!!!! I'd laugh if it wasn't so sickening.

If those minions will keep on bashing Pierce for many years to come, they might as well do so with Tim and see that the traditional tall and dark-hair types as irrelevant.

[Veronica]

Brosnan miscast?

I thought that'd get you fired up V!

Of course Benny he is after all the one that introduced me to Bond.
But I am just as ready to defend any other Bond who is insulted by Craig fans.They seem to have some sort of competition on who liked the franchise previous to the reboot the least.