Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

General Bond discussion from Sean Connery to Pierce Brosnan

Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:58 am

With everyone’s permission I would like to start a weekly rant. Well weekly is a bit of a misnomer as I may post more frequently if I have a lot to say, or less if life catches up to me and I don’t have the time. So if you’ll indulge me here it is.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Sat Jan 25, 2014 3:01 am

RANT #1 The Beginning

I feel it appropriate to start at the beginning both literally and figuratively, with Casino Royal. As all of you are well aware this is the first novel staring Ian Fleming’s world famous British spy, it is also the start of this site and the coming together of all us classic Bond fans in protest of Craig’s casting and his debut of the acting style I call “Method Mumbling”. We have the beginning of the total disregard of the “formula” which will be a future article unto itself! We also get the beginning of the full-fledged, unbridled ruin of the franchise at Babs’ hands. Here Babs has a golden opportunity to finally finish what her father started by filming the last un-filmed Fleming novel, but alas they decided this was to be a ham-fisted “origin story” as if Bond needed one let alone three in a row! How do you screw this up! Fleming did all the heavy lifting for you! Yet they cut out most of the story only leaving in three elements, a gambling show down, Vesper’s kidnapping, and the testicle torture. All three fail. First the showdown, Bond played Baccarat for 45 years on film because of this book! Yet when it finally comes to the big screen we are treated to a Texas hold’em tournament, I guess to ensure the self-absorbed Vegas douche crowd feels included? Vesper’s kidnapping was a tense, taught, car chase which encompassed several pages culminating in a terrific crash followed by several more pages running down the aftermath, CR does all this in a throw away 30 second scene. Now the ball busting literally, in the novel torture scene was intensely written, making any man squirm in his chair. However in the film we get a laughable homoerotic ball slapping which is so comical, it’s the only time we see Craig laugh during his tenure as Bond.
Though I suppose I could have gone on I decided to keep this rant short and sweet since I’m sort of testing the waters here. Let me know what you think, if after a few article you think I’m not adding to the enjoyment of the site I’ll stop. I’d also like your input on my writing so if you do enjoy my rants I can become better. Thank you

Up next Purvis and Wade, the same movie five times.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby commander0077again » Sat Jan 25, 2014 4:25 am

Yesh, I'm all for rants and raves, they're fun. CS is a 'good' film to start, since it introduces the anti-Bond, or maybe we should say the auntie-Bond. Practically everything that made Bond unique was thrown off the precipice. I was watching the Bourne movies on DVD recently... basically they're about car chases, motorcycle chases and other chases. The character of Bourne is 'realistic' so he's not that much fun to watch. The first film had a good lead actress and then she was killed off in the next installment. So the new 'Bond' becomes Bourne-again, and we get an actor who is even more average-looking than Matt Damon. Well, 'average' isn't the precise word, is it? To top off his Putin-looks, he gives us a charmless Bond; when he tries to be 'charming' I can agree with those who might say this 'charm' may work in a serious spy BBC movie, but it has no place in a Bond film. The term realism is used often by pro-Craigers, that Bond is a serious fellow doing serious work. I take the example of the new Batman ... while he's a 'serious' fellow doing 'serious work' he displays (as Bruce Wayne, mostly) charm and a sense of humor -- with Alfred, with Lucius Fox and so on. And so when he's Batman we can be entertained, unlike the Craig-films, where we are exittained or something. So that's my rant, is that in the rules?
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Capt. Sir Dominic Flandry » Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:31 pm

That it was this forum is for: for those of us who feel Craig, Babs and all have ruined the series to have a rant. :cheers:
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:08 pm

commander0077again wrote:Yesh, I'm all for rants and raves, they're fun. CS is a 'good' film to start, since it introduces the anti-Bond, or maybe we should say the auntie-Bond. Practically everything that made Bond unique was thrown off the precipice. I was watching the Bourne movies on DVD recently... basically they're about car chases, motorcycle chases and other chases. The character of Bourne is 'realistic' so he's not that much fun to watch. The first film had a good lead actress and then she was killed off in the next installment. So the new 'Bond' becomes Bourne-again, and we get an actor who is even more average-looking than Matt Damon. Well, 'average' isn't the precise word, is it? To top off his Putin-looks, he gives us a charmless Bond; when he tries to be 'charming' I can agree with those who might say this 'charm' may work in a serious spy BBC movie, but it has no place in a Bond film. The term realism is used often by pro-Craigers, that Bond is a serious fellow doing serious work. I take the example of the new Batman ... while he's a 'serious' fellow doing 'serious work' he displays (as Bruce Wayne, mostly) charm and a sense of humor -- with Alfred, with Lucius Fox and so on. And so when he's Batman we can be entertained, unlike the Craig-films, where we are exittained or something. So that's my rant, is that in the rules?


I couldn't agree with you more Commander! I think I'll make my third installment about the much maligned "formula" so I can touch upon some of your excellent points!
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:09 pm

Capt. Sir Dominic Flandry wrote:That it was this forum is for: for those of us who feel Craig, Babs and all have ruined the series to have a rant. :cheers:


That's precisely why I love this forum so much!
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby John P. Drake » Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:12 pm

dirtybenny wrote:
Capt. Sir Dominic Flandry wrote:That it was this forum is for: for those of us who feel Craig, Babs and all have ruined the series to have a rant. :cheers:


That's precisely why I love this forum so much!

Better make that three.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Daltonite Toothpaste » Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:10 am

My biggest problem with Casino Royale, is the badly thought-out reboot of Bond. Die Another Day showed how out of touch the Brosnan era was, and a new actor was needed (preferably not Craig). But they didn't have to throw out 40 years of legacy in favour of jumping on the reboot bandwagon.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby The Saint 007 » Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:12 pm

Even after the success of Casino Royale, the producers didn't know what to do with Craig's Bond and made a reboot of a reboot with Skyfall after the abysmal Quantum Of Solace. They should have tried to get some better writers after Die Another Day, and stick to a For Your Eyes Only or The Living Daylights type of approach.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Kristatos » Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:04 pm

Daltonite Toothpaste wrote:My biggest problem with Casino Royale, is the badly thought-out reboot of Bond. Die Another Day showed how out of touch the Brosnan era was, and a new actor was needed (preferably not Craig). But they didn't have to throw out 40 years of legacy in favour of jumping on the reboot bandwagon.

Again, I think Brosnan had one more movie in him, and I disagree that DAD made a new actor inevitable. For one thing, I don't think its terrible reputation is wholly deserved, and secondly, Roger wasn't fired after TMWTGG tanked (by Bond standards anyway) at the box office.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby bjmdds » Sun Jan 26, 2014 4:28 pm

Brosnan had 2 more films in him easily, then replace him. The entire fiasco was the school girl crush Ms. B developed on DC after watching Layer Cake. After Bond, Cr-egg will be done it appears in films due to overwhemingly poor box office results on his own and then what will Broccoli say about her self-described 'best actor to ever portray Bond'?
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Daltonite Toothpaste » Sun Jan 26, 2014 6:01 pm

I'd have to disagree on Brosnan. DAD was his DAF, and he looked over the hill and then some in his last film. I do believe Bond #21 needed a new actor and to come down to earth. The Bourne Identity showed how complacent, during the Brosnan era, the films had gotten, there is no way they could have continued with Brosnan.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Barry Niven » Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:10 pm

My take on Pierce Brosnan's firing after DAD is that Babs only ever saw him as another Roger Moore based on Brosnan's Remington Steele TV history as a not-so-distant echo of Moore as The Saint, and not the Next Sean Connery that Brosnan himself so badly wanted to be (and was practically hyped as when he debuted in Goldeneye), which goes a long way towards explaining why Brosnan's overall run as James Bond was so... ambivalent.

Having a first-hand view in the 1980s as an assistant/tag-along when Old Man Cubby was grooming her to inherit his legacy, Babs was probably aware of how Moore shrewdly leveraged MGM/UA/EON's need to keep their franchise stable and profitable by being able to negotiate tons of money to keep him around as Bond long after his original 3-film-with-an-optional-4th Contract expired after Moonraker, even though his increasingly aged appearances made him sadly less credible. Still, it was more financially sound for them to stick with a Sure Thing like Moore than take their chances with a wooden, untried stiff like they almost did with James Brolin in Octopussy and risk killing off their Golden Goose forever. With Brosnan's Bonds comparatively profitable and popular in their time, it looked like his tenure would follow a similar path.

Unfortunately, things change. For while DAD was a monstrous Box-Office success despite the (largely deserved) critical derision, Babs apparently did NOT want a repeat of the Moore tactic and be stuck with a "relic" that Brosnan represented to her pseudo-enlightened worldview if he got his 5th and 6th Bond appearances and officially formed The Holy Trinity of Longevity with Connery & Moore. And as a thin-skinned, fad-chasing poser who didn't want to be "left behind" by the hipper-than-thou competition of Bourne with the reboot phase of Batman Begins underway, dumping Brosnan for the Craggy seemed like the way for BABS to make her mark as a "bold risk-taker" who wasn't bound to repeat past "mistakes" like her Elders and maybe even win some "street cred" as an "underdog" championing the uncouth little Craggy so Babs could take all the credit for "believing in him" when he'd "proven" himself a "winner".

And the worst part is that the studios, the media and the public at large all bought into this bull$#!+, because they wanted to see themselves on the Right side of the "underdog" Craggy-Bond for *not* being a slick, polished, "Richie", Establishment Suit working for THE MAN that this revisionist mindset has now recast Brosnan's Bond and his predecessors as. Which is all a fraud anyway, since Babs & EON ARE The Establishment, resorting to such a cynical, hypocritical tactic to con the moviegoing public into giving THEM Billions of dollars for producing such joyless, inept, pretentious rubbish that dares to pass themselves off as "bold statements of intent", much less escapist entertainment once known as the James Bond movies. At least I don't buy into that drivel anymore, and that's what really matters.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby James » Mon Jan 27, 2014 12:40 pm

And yet, if you read around now, Casino Royale is regarded by the majority to either the best Bond film or at least in the top 3 or 4. This Craig era taints the whole franchise for me. My only hope is that when a new actor is cast all the bulls**t transfers over to him and Craig is quickly forgotten or retrospectively trashed like Brosnan.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby FormerBondFan » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:43 pm

James wrote:My only hope is that when a new actor is cast all the bulls**t transfers over to him and Craig is quickly forgotten or retrospectively trashed like Brosnan.


Just imagine if 7th Bond looks less Bond than Craig yet ends up being the best Bond ever or best Bond since Sean.
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Tue Jan 28, 2014 3:11 am

RANT # 2
Purvis and Wade the same movie 5 times

I used to think Kevin Mclory’s idea of making Thunderball several different ways in order to create his own Bond franchise was nuts. That is until I realized Purvis and Wade have done just that since TWINE. Let me explain by first laying out their writing template, then explaining how it fits in each film.
For whatever reason Bond finds himself on the outside looking in, on the investigation du jour. He ingratiates himself back in to M’s good graces and is let back in, this may or may not involve “going rouge”. Someone is not whom they seem. The climactic fight takes place in an environment (ship, plane, building) being destroyed around them.

TWINE: Bond injures his shoulder putting him out of the investigation, he snoops around on his own finding evidence the terrorist Renard is behind the attack on MI6. After this and seducing the doctor Bond is back on the job. Electra King turns out to not be the victim as she seemed but is behind the whole thing. The climactic battle takes place in a sinking submarine with water gushing in.

DAD: Bond is captured by North Korea, and burned by MI6. He “goes rouge” and investigates on his own, turning up dirt on Gustav Graves, getting him back in to M’s good graces. This is a two for because not only is Gustav really the North Korean Coronel he thought dead but we also get a turn coat MI6 agent in Miranda Frost. The climax takes place in a jet that is crumbling around them.

CR: Bond pisses off M by killing a bomb maker, but “goes rouge” and continues the investigation on his own just as M knew he would! Yay he’s back in her good graces. I give them a pass on Vesper because she was a double agent in the novel; however they cast suspicion on Mathis who was NOT. The climax is a combination of the last two a crumbling sinking house!

QOS: Bond starts off “going rouge” which is what puts him out of M’s good graces as well as the evil CIA “trumping up evidence” against him. But M can’t stay mad at her surrogate son for long because after all he just magically subdued 4 of her agents in an elevator. The Bolivian police chief is not Mathis’ friend as we were led to believe and gets Bond’s pal killed. They ratchet up the fight as it takes place in a burning/exploding hotel.

SF: Bond is shot off a train by an inept agent, causing him to shirk his duties and hide out in some resort town drinking scotch. He suddenly remembers he has a sense of duty and returns home when he hears MI6 was attacked. Mama M can’t stay mad at a face like that after all only a mother could love it. That inept agent mentioned above turns out to be our beloved Moneypenny and the creepy government guy ends up becoming the new M surprise! The climax involves fighting a burning, crumbling, exploding Wayne manor.

There are other similarities between these movies but I don’t know I can chalk them all up to P&W as I’m sure Bab’s fists of ham were also involved. These however are consistent and would only be the ideas of the writers as they form the “bones of the story”.

Next rant: The destruction of the “formula”
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby Kristatos » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:42 pm

"Goes rouge": do you mean "rogue", or is this a reference to that infamous PSA? :mrgreen:
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby dirtybenny » Wed Jan 29, 2014 2:19 am

Kristatos wrote:"Goes rouge": do you mean "rogue", or is this a reference to that infamous PSA? :mrgreen:


You got me! My reliance on spell check strikes again! Although as you point out it is a rather fitting mistake! LOL
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby commander0077again » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:02 am

dirtybenny wrote:
Kristatos wrote:"Goes rouge": do you mean "rogue", or is this a reference to that infamous PSA? :mrgreen:


You got me! My reliance on spell check strikes again! Although as you point out it is a rather fitting mistake! LOL


Just the other day I noted a Bond girl going rouge, overly rouge, but Commander 0077 kept his trap shut :idea:
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Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Postby commander0077again » Wed Jan 29, 2014 5:48 am

Rants, etc.....
In a perfect world, of course everyone would agree with us, he said with a raised tongue-in-cheek. So I can give due to the Bond fans who actually prefer Craig and the latest 'Bond' films. I can see how they may prefer a 'serious' Bond, as opposed to a totally flippant Bond. I would agree that Roger Moore and Tarzan yells and surfer music are just too, too cute. But to go in the completely opposite direction of 'dark, sorrowful, plodding, putty-faced 'hero' .... well, that makes me rant! And what about the new 'M' who micro-manages 'Bond' ... "Take the shot! Take the shot!" She might as well add "..wuss!" since the original Bond would've simply ignored her. Well, that is fine for politics and correctness, but give me Dink and a swat on the derriere -- "Man talk!"

Again, if one prefers dark, sorrowful, plodding, putty-faced 'heroes' that is one's right. But if logic enters into any part of the equation, one can't call 'him' Bond, since neither the Fleming Bond or the previous film Bonds resemble the Craigster. He doesn't resemble Bond physically at all. One may prefer Craig, but no way can you say that he embodies Bond physically. In the books 007 is slim and around six feet tall, with dark hair. He is usually described as handsome... one time even handsome as a movie star. I think one can be fair and assume from this that Fleming means Bond has 'classical' good looks... he has level eyes, high cheekbones, plus a 'cruel mouth.' Does that mean he has a sour puss putty potty mouth? I don't think so! (Here one can see Cmdr 0077 ranting in fine style!). One doesn't say 'I don't think so!' unless one is ranting.
Bond is described once as 'a handsome Bas***d.' I suppose some will put Craig in that category, and I assume that is their right.. But to me he is not a 'handsome Bas***d' that Bond girls will say so in public, but in private have secret dreams.

So there is my handsome Bas***d rant for the evening. :cake:
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