ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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Austin needs to get information from mini-me, so he creeps up on him from behind in the shower, kissing his neck and ears, until they make passionless, robotic love. He later needs to shoot something funny off his head. Two seconds after the shootout, Austin’s reinforcements including Basil reveal themselves from behind every corner, rather than helicopters flying in.

Austin is played by an obvious impostor, for example Seth Green. His reputation precedes him, women purr and squeal and extol his irresistibility in front of him. Meanwhile, he stands upright with a solemn expression, staring forward blankly. With a sigh, he mutters a dry “Oh. Behave.” He’s a rookie, so needs two shags to get International Man of Mystery status. The second is- “Yes, considerably.” The scene is shot in black-and-white, of course.
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Re: ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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Ooh, good thread topic. Funnily enough, I think Austin Powers preempted the soap opera elements of the Craig films, with the daddy issues stuff in Goldmember.
"Bond films aren't dramas, they're pantos" - David Mitchell
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Re: ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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Dr Evil forms an alliance with a new, more modern group of baddies, who are all attractive but facially disfigured. They speak slowly and softly, like Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending, touch each other on the shoulder and finish one another’s sentences. Dr Evil gets bored listening to one of them, telling him to get to the friggin’ point. Dr Evil laughs maniacally but the other guys never so much as break into a smirk. Tough room.

The secret service tasks Austin with apprehending nanobot conspiracy theorists, Austin is confused as to why but Basil says not to worry about this sort of thing, “and that goes for you all”. We get a happy ending montage that takes us around the world, showing how everyone from the queen to fat Bas***d to isolated primitive tribes are nanobotted.
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Re: ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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The ridiculously well-executed plans in Skyfall are ripe pickings for evisceration. Somehow this trope survives. I swear to god the 2010s are going to date badly. People will roar in laughter at The Dark Knight. This time we should get a peek behind the scenes, with Dr Evil revealing his intricate plan. Scotty gives him s**t – “How can you possibly know when Q inserts your stupid flash drive and that when you escape without pausing you will happen to be walking around this particular corner at exactly 5 hours 13 minutes and 17 seconds?” He just doesn’t get it, does he. As Dr Evil narrates his plan, we’re treated to a montage of how the plan is envisioned to go. He says what time fat Bas***d drops a deuce. He even narrates the minutiae of what Austin and Basil will do, even though they’re not supposed to know anything. Because this is a comedy, and the plan is so convoluted, we expect it to all go wrong. Instead, it all goes precisely according to plan, down to all the fantasy shots being replicated during the plan’s execution, but panning to Dr Evil doing a self-congratulatory “Mm-hmm” with a wry smile. In fact he can be so happy, what with everything working out perfectly, that he slides down between escalators just for fun and breaks out into a musical number, including a little rendition of Que Sera Sera - “will I be a medic, will I be a cop?” - complete with costume changes into a cop, a train conductor, etc.
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Re: ways Austin Powers can lampoon Daniel Craig

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Of course, Austin has to visit Vanessa’s grave from the first film. He brushes dust off the tombstone, revealing the portrait of a malfunctioning fem-bot (1997-1999), and says “I miss you. You were very shagadelic, baby, yeah! Hahaha! Shwing!” as people attending a nearby funeral glance over their shoulder at him, then pull out tommy guns start firing because they’re spectre agents. As Austin makes his escape, there’s a live-action version of the Homer falling down a cliff scene, preferably with a parachute that goes off AFTER Austin lands on the ground: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMvyTlcUoD4

Austin’s love interest is discovered dead in bed, covered in fat Bas***d’s poop in yet another Goldfinger homage. Her lungs, gallbladder, purse are also filled with poop. “What? How do you even know that? Did someone try resuscitation? I find that hard to believe.” Austin does a double-take from the smell as he enters the room, and we hear echoes of fat Bas***d’s cackling as we snap-zoom into the woman’s head and Austin’s face. (Same effect can be done when Bond/Austin figures out his martini is contaminated, as in Casino Royale.) Basil gets mad at Austin, who defends himself. “That wasn’t me, Basil, it would take me a month just to gather up so much crap. That crap’s softer than a baby’s. I didn’t have crap this runny when I had cholera that one time. You know how much broccoli I’d need just to come up with all this crap?” But Basil stays mad and transfers his International Man of Mystery status to Foxy Cleopatra, his sidekick from Goldmember, played by Beyonce. A dejected Austin makes puppy eyes at her and whimpers, “it’s just a title.”
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