Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

General Bond discussion from Sean Connery to Pierce Brosnan
Post Reply
User avatar
ns_writings
Lieutenant
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 7:46 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: GoldenEye, then all the rest, but -roughly-

Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, From Russia With Love, Thunderball, Die Another Day, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Casino Royale (mostly for Campbell)
Favorite Movies: The Mask of Zorro, The Thomas Crown Affair (68 and 99), The Guns of Navarone, The Ipcress File
Location: Buenos Aires
Contact:

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by ns_writings »

dirtybenny wrote: Sat Nov 20, 2021 9:11 pm Next installment, hope you enjoy!

http://danielcraigisnotbond.com/index/b ... ue-crisis/
Man, you deserve a Pulitzer for this! Couldn't stop laughing!

Image

Image

:picard:

Straight out of a Sofía Vergara comedy. What were they f-cking thinking! holy s**t! Where was Funkonaga when he shot that? Oh, don't answer that. Probably smoked a little bit of grass and a rehab team had to come to the set :lol: :hair:
User avatar
ns_writings
Lieutenant
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 7:46 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: GoldenEye, then all the rest, but -roughly-

Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, From Russia With Love, Thunderball, Die Another Day, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Casino Royale (mostly for Campbell)
Favorite Movies: The Mask of Zorro, The Thomas Crown Affair (68 and 99), The Guns of Navarone, The Ipcress File
Location: Buenos Aires
Contact:

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by ns_writings »

Pinky & The Brain predicted (N)TTD: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0940250/

Image


Also, regarding Made-lame...


2015: "I promised myself I would never be hurt by that man again. I cut off all contact. I didn't want anything to do with him or his sick life."

2020/21: *she enters to his safe room, knows all about his secret plans, documents, the fact that he killed a whole family by poisoning and knew who the man who survived was*
Veronica
Agent
Posts: 1737
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:08 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: From Russia With Love,GoldenEye,The Spy Who Loved Me,Goldfinger,Dr.No
Favorite Movies: After the Sunset,The Devil Wears Prada,The Thomas Crown Affair,To Catch a Thief,Midnight in Paris,North by Northwest, Purple Noon, La piscine.

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Veronica »

Wait, wait, wait... Lyutsifer Safin? Really? Oh my god :lol:
I feel like this is the funniest thing they've written since Craig came onto the stage.
User avatar
derekpayne
Lieutenant
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:06 am

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by derekpayne »

There were ructions in the family home on Saturday. My wife said let's watch a movie, and on she popped on NoTime. To which I said you must be joking , you know I wont watch that , and I hope I've not paid for it. Apparently I'm "so silly", as I read a book in the Kitchen instead.

Still there was a sliver lining. My daughter brought me a fiver which she said she was told was to pay me back. And my younger son said to me later on , " why did they make James Bond a really old man?" " Is that why he died , he was really wrinkly?" . And then he said who was the James Bond with the submarine car. So I pulled up a picture of Roger, and he said " that's the james bond I like". So maybe there is hope.
User avatar
Kristatos
OO Moderator
OO Moderator
Posts: 11872
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 9:26 pm
Location: St. Cyril's

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Kristatos »


derekpayne wrote: And then he said who was the James Bond with the submarine car. So I pulled up a picture of Roger, and he said " that's the james bond I like". So maybe there is hope.
*sings* I believe that children are the future....

Sent from my SM-G986B using Tapatalk

"Bond films aren't dramas, they're pantos" - David Mitchell
Irony-Man2
New Recruit
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 6:02 pm

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Irony-Man2 »

Watch some of the action sequences from Classic Bond films and then read the comments and you realise that the vast majority of people really appreciated the Classic Bonds. That's what gives me hope.
User avatar
dirtybenny
Agent
Posts: 1541
Joined: Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:27 am
Favorite Bond Movie: From Russia with Love and all the Connery films
Favorite Movies: Dirty Harry, Bullitt, The Sting, LA Confidential, The Maltese Falcon, and The Big Sleep
Location: Straight Outta Uranus

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by dirtybenny »

Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans out there and thank you for all the comments, sorry I didn't have time to respond to them all, here's a little Thanksgiving treat for you all to feast on:

http://danielcraigisnotbond.com/index/b ... pointment/
The Rouge Warrior, On Hermaphrodite's Secret Service Image
User avatar
The Saint 007
0013
Posts: 3740
Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2012 11:16 am
Favorite Bond Movie: The Spy Who Loved Me, A View To A Kill, Goldfinger, GoldenEye, For Your Eyes Only, Moonraker, Octopussy, Thunderball

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by The Saint 007 »

The Craig-Bond continues, “SPECTRE’s dead.” Felix asks, “Who’s dead?” The Craig-Bond replies, “All of them.” Felix responds, “Good.”

I couldn't help but think of this scene from Zelda: The Wand Of Gamelon after reading that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKFX-eYjqyg. Seriously, what a way for the Spectre organization to be eradicated.

As much as I dislike Quantum Of Solace, I think it would have been better for the filmmakers to build upon the Quantum organization for Craig's era instead of hastily bringing back Blofeld and Spectre and then killing them in such a stupid manner. Establishing Quantum, however, would have required a little more creative thought which is far too much work for the Bond filmmakers these days.
Image
User avatar
Omega
0010
Posts: 7069
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 9:01 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: TLD LTK GE TND TWINE DAD OHMSS
Favorite Movies: Gladiator
John Wick
Pacific Rim
LOTR trilogy
RED
Kingsman
X-Men First Class
X-Men Days of Futures Past
MI Rogue Nation
Location: the lost city
Contact:

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Omega »

Jason wrote:
Omega wrote: Sat Oct 30, 2021 11:40 am I dunno. Apparently Dalton was a favorite of cubby, or at least highly thought of from a young age as being capable of being a good bond.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he was quietly asked.

Supposedly before never say never again cubby sent every script to Connery first. Everyone assumes it was giving connery first dibs.
Strange stories come out about who was secretly contracted to be bond to have their contracts bought or contracted to be bond if something happens to the star.
Sam worthington was supposedly signed in 2005-06 and sent to boot camp to be come proficient with weapons before filming, Henry Cavill was Martin Campbell‘s favorite to be cast. Supposedly Martin Campbell thought he was having a say about who is cast and was pretty pissed about Craig who from the what we were told from people who claimed to have inside knowledge Craig actually had the troubles the tabloids published and
Campbell hated working with him and put him off to the second team to film.

So Dalton being asked or offered the role could be true. Kind of wish he’d be less a gentleman and talk about the time and what really happened. I think the only thing he’s ever said is that license to kill in trouble for the Director in the script, but he’s never talked about not coming back or what lead to him taking the role.

Part of it could be eon and Dalton sued a tabloid for publishing he wasn’t coming back to bond after LTK, might be hard to contradict what you said under oath

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
Thanks for the info. Did not know that Cubby was going to Connery even while Moore was in the role. Of all the almost Bond stories my fav is that of Finlay Light. He was apparently signed for TLD or close to becoming Bond. Martin Campbell is right up there with Guy Hamilton, Terrence Young and John Glen for best Bond directors.
Sorry to follow up so late. I think the producers and studio sign just to be able to say the role is cast or has a potential lead. We get too many actors coming out to say I was signed or had a contract bought out. Got to be something to it.
The only people who don’t tell all is the Broccoli family who know what’s been done about casting. But then again the are mired in lawsuits for decades and maybe can’t say because it’ll contradict sworn testimony


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
............ :007:
User avatar
derekpayne
Lieutenant
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:06 am

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by derekpayne »

Every now and then, with a sea of Cregg is great in the media I being to doubt myself.

Then I come across an article like this that re invigorates the soul. Roger Moore, James Bond.


https://ew.com/movies/2008/12/09/roger- ... ames-bond/
Irony-Man2
New Recruit
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 6:02 pm

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Irony-Man2 »

Just finished watching FYEO, I wanted to test out my new Sonos Arc soundbar on one of my favourite Bond films. There was the template right there for a grounded, realistic Bond. If the producers could alternate between this and FRWL style thriller, and a Goldfinger/TSWLM larger than life adventure, they would be golden.

Of course they also have to find an actor who actually likes being Bond.
User avatar
bjmdds
001
Posts: 13695
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:14 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: Any without CR-egg in it.

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by bjmdds »

Irony, those were BEFORE the inane queen drone took over.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Image
Irony-Man2
New Recruit
Posts: 20
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 6:02 pm

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Irony-Man2 »

Now that she has created the greatest quintology in Bond, nay MOVIE history, perhaps she will retire, resting on her laurels and let a new generation take over.
What Bond needs is to throw it open to competition from filmmakers who want to tell a Bond story, similar to what they do with the continuation novels, and then let them make a movie, not set up a series or try to establish a tentpole, but an actual movie. The franchise is unique because it exists as franchise with a (until the Craigology) loose continuity. It could actually be a fertile ground for innovation in film making anchored around the idea of Bond. Hell, even Fleming was not above experimenting with the form in the novels and short stories.
User avatar
acid
Commander
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:44 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: Dr No, From Russia with Love, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Octopussy, For Your Eyes Only, A View To a Kill, The Living Daylights, GoldenEye
Location: Baja? I haven't got anything in Baja!

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by acid »

So let me get this straight, DB. SPECTRE, that notoriously powerful, secretive, multinational, world-beating criminal organization, decides to throw none other than a birthday party :party: for BROFELD :happybd: where all agents must attend, the birthday boy himself is conspicuous by his absence, but anyone, anyone can just what, saunter their way inside off the street to say hi to Mr and Mrs Criminal Mastermind and play pass the parcel and pin the tail on the fluffy white cat? :picard: :shock: :lol:

And not only that, but this highly experienced, shadowy organization has for some reason made the genetic code of all its members available to some scientist so they could all be simultaneously taken out? And forget the nanotech, they're all sitting ducks there waiting for Bond or Felix to just blow them all up. Surely ridding the world of SPECTRE would be worth one scientist's life, wouldn't it?
Never mind. It was Safin.
Yeah, so, I get it's supposed to be Brofeld that actually, supposedly, wants to get rid of all those SPECTRE agents, but that's just beyond ridiculous. I guess it was just another one of his childish tantrums, like the one he had when he first decided to create SPECTRE to torment Bond. :roll: I mean, this isn't really like Zorin mowing down his construction workers, is it? These agents had real leverage.
Furthermore, since Babs and Craig were hellbent on wiping out most of the major male characters of the series in this film, why stop at that. I mean, if you want to be really fatalistic and noir, why didn't it end with the entire planet being extinguished - or at least all of mankind - yeah, some nanotech that attacked the Y chromosome across the whole planet. Doesn't matter if the plot's outlandish or incoherent, right, we're upping the stakes and finishing it all off, right? Why not just collapse the entire d**n universe? Call it Universal Explodes - get it? :)

The other thing I really want to know is why on earth is Fate so cruel as to make it so that we get 2 hours and 43 minutes of this drivel, yet all our favorite classic Bond movies are considerably shorter? I'd love to have a 3 hour Dr No or FYEO or OHMSS, but no, we get nearly 3 hours of them slowly disposing of favorite characters that they clearly never really liked. That's pretty ironic given the film title. Seems like there was plenty of time to die after all (All the time in the world to die? :oops: ).

Anyway, I'm absolutely loving this multi-part rant DB :cheers: :D Your attention to detail is fantastic and it's really amusing and cheering me up. :martini: Not sure why but I particularly enjoyed the Felix gravestone countdown. Very dark but also very funny. :) I can't wait for the next installment.
Last edited by acid on Sat Dec 04, 2021 5:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Wonderful for poison pen letters..."
User avatar
bjmdds
001
Posts: 13695
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:14 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: Any without CR-egg in it.

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by bjmdds »

Acid, you have it wrong about Blofeld's target....... When Spectre steals the nano-weapon from the UK government, they didn't count on another corrupt party being involved. That person is Safin, who has been wanting to exact revenge on Spectre after Mr. White killed his family. Spectre, with the nanobots in hand, lures Bond to their party in Cuba. Blofeld believes that the nanobots are set to target Bond. However, the scientist in charge of the nanobots is secretly working for Safin and changes the target from Bond to the members of Spectre. Once unleashed, the virus kills everyone at the party except for Bond and Paloma. Technically, Safin saves Bond.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Image
User avatar
acid
Commander
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:44 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: Dr No, From Russia with Love, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Octopussy, For Your Eyes Only, A View To a Kill, The Living Daylights, GoldenEye
Location: Baja? I haven't got anything in Baja!

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by acid »

bjmdds wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 4:27 am Acid, you have it wrong about Blofeld's target....... When Spectre steals the nano-weapon from the UK government, they didn't count on another corrupt party being involved. That person is Safin, who has been wanting to exact revenge on Spectre after Mr. White killed his family. Spectre, with the nanobots in hand, lures Bond to their party in Cuba. Blofeld believes that the nanobots are set to target Bond. However, the scientist in charge of the nanobots is secretly working for Safin and changes the target from Bond to the members of Spectre. Once unleashed, the virus kills everyone at the party except for Bond and Paloma. Technically, Safin saves Bond.
Ah, thanks BJ. Obviously, I refuse to watch the film. I assumed too much when I read the bit about Craig's Bond interrogating the scientist asking if Blofeld ordered the attack. It's still completely ridiculous making a trap for Bond that involves having every single SPECTRE agent in one place, as well as making all their DNA available to a dangerous scientist building a weapon that targets DNA!
"Wonderful for poison pen letters..."
User avatar
dirtybenny
Agent
Posts: 1541
Joined: Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:27 am
Favorite Bond Movie: From Russia with Love and all the Connery films
Favorite Movies: Dirty Harry, Bullitt, The Sting, LA Confidential, The Maltese Falcon, and The Big Sleep
Location: Straight Outta Uranus

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by dirtybenny »

acid wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 2:19 am So let me get this straight, DB. SPECTRE, that notoriously powerful, secretive, multinational, world-beating criminal organization, decides to throw none other than a birthday party :party: for BROFELD :happybd: where all agents must attend, the birthday boy himself is conspicuous by his absence, but anyone, anyone can just what, saunter their way inside off the street to say hi to Mr and Mrs Criminal Mastermind and play pass the parcel and pin the tail on the fluffy white cat? :picard: :shock: :lol:

And not only that, but this highly experienced, shadowy organization has for some reason made the genetic code of all its members available to some scientist so they could all be simultaneously taken out? And forget the nanotech, they're all sitting ducks there waiting for Bond or Felix to just blow them all up. Surely ridding the world of SPECTRE would be worth one scientist's life, wouldn't it?
Never mind. It was Safin.
Yeah, so, I get it's supposed to be Brofeld that actually, supposedly, wants to get rid of all those SPECTRE agents, but that's just beyond ridiculous. I guess it was just another one of his childish tantrums, like the one he had when he first decided to create SPECTRE to torment Bond. :roll: I mean, this isn't really like Zorin mowing down his construction workers, is it? These agents had real leverage.
Furthermore, since Babs and Craig were hellbent on wiping out most of the major male characters of the series in this film, why stop at that. I mean, if you want to be really fatalistic and noir, why didn't it end with the entire planet being extinguished - or at least all of mankind - yeah, some nanotech that attacked the Y chromosome across the whole planet. Doesn't matter if the plot's outlandish or incoherent, right, we're upping the stakes and finishing it all off, right? Why not just collapse the entire d**n universe? Call it Universal Explodes - get it? :)

The other thing I really want to know is why on earth is Fate so cruel as to make it so that we get 2 hours and 43 minutes of this drivel, yet all our favorite classic Bond movies are considerably shorter? I'd love to have a 3 hour Dr No or FYEO or OHMSS, but no, we get nearly 3 hours of them slowly disposing of favorite characters that they clearly never really liked. That's pretty ironic given the film title. Seems like there was plenty of time to die after all (All the time in the world to die? :oops: ).

Anyway, I'm absolutely loving this multi-part rant DB :cheers: :D Your attention to detail is fantastic and it's really amusing and cheering me up. :martini: Not sure why but I particularly enjoyed the Felix gravestone countdown. Very dark but also very funny. :) I can't wait for the next installment.
I'm glad you're enjoying it Acid, that means a great deal to me! Yes you read that right SPECTRE threw Bro-feld a birthday party like a bloody 8 year old and required all of his friends to attend! And they said invisible cars were ridiculous!

Concerning longer versions of great films, While like you I would have much preferred more of the good Bonds than this drek, they didn't need to be longer. The film makers knew when to stop, these last 3 marathon slogs were the result of self aggrandizing auteurs who thought it was all so brilliant and didn't know where to cut.
The Rouge Warrior, On Hermaphrodite's Secret Service Image
User avatar
Kristatos
OO Moderator
OO Moderator
Posts: 11872
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2007 9:26 pm
Location: St. Cyril's

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by Kristatos »

dirtybenny wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 5:13 pm Concerning longer versions of great films, While like you I would have much preferred more of the good Bonds than this drek, they didn't need to be longer. The film makers knew when to stop, these last 3 marathon slogs were the result of self aggrandizing auteurs who thought it was all so brilliant and didn't know where to cut.
Agreed. Dr No and OHMSS were exactly as long as they needed to be. More is not necessarily better.
"Bond films aren't dramas, they're pantos" - David Mitchell
User avatar
acid
Commander
Posts: 323
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:44 pm
Favorite Bond Movie: Dr No, From Russia with Love, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Octopussy, For Your Eyes Only, A View To a Kill, The Living Daylights, GoldenEye
Location: Baja? I haven't got anything in Baja!

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by acid »

Kristatos wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 6:25 pm
dirtybenny wrote: Sat Dec 04, 2021 5:13 pm Concerning longer versions of great films, While like you I would have much preferred more of the good Bonds than this drek, they didn't need to be longer. The film makers knew when to stop, these last 3 marathon slogs were the result of self aggrandizing auteurs who thought it was all so brilliant and didn't know where to cut.
Agreed. Dr No and OHMSS were exactly as long as they needed to be. More is not necessarily better.
I guess I'm just greedy for more of the high quality Bond content than we already have. I should be grateful though of the rate at which Cubby churned out those great movies every couple of years.

I suppose longer action scenes would've consumed more of the budget and making them longer without adding interesting ideas would just slow the pace. You could add more character development but we've already talked about what can go wrong if that isn't done well. Conversely, I'm sure it's possible to put too many great ideas into one movie (DAD syndrome), so it's probably for the best that they saved some ideas for the later movies.

I love Roger's movies but already in those we know quite a few examples of ideas from the earlier films getting recycled - not that it really took anything away from them though. It just shows that ideas and creativity within a chosen Bond formula are finite and can run out. I'm just talking about things like YOLT, TSWLM and Moonraker sharing very similar plots in terms of the villain's plan, also Goldfinger's operation Grand Slam being recycled as Main Strike (two words or one?). Hey even 007 hanging on a rope from Zorin's moving blimp as he makes him collide with things and then Bond tying the rope down and the vehicle straining against it is straight out of the keel-hauling scene from FYEO, or is that pattern just a coincidence?
"Wonderful for poison pen letters..."
User avatar
dirtybenny
Agent
Posts: 1541
Joined: Mon Sep 30, 2013 4:27 am
Favorite Bond Movie: From Russia with Love and all the Connery films
Favorite Movies: Dirty Harry, Bullitt, The Sting, LA Confidential, The Maltese Falcon, and The Big Sleep
Location: Straight Outta Uranus

Re: Dirty Benny's Weekly Rant

Post by dirtybenny »

The Rouge Warrior, On Hermaphrodite's Secret Service Image
Post Reply